help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my sisters under your porch take her home
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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