I just threw up on my dentist
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
