even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
