you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
