i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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