I'm so fucking centered right now
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
