There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize