Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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