Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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