That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
you had me at cake vodka
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
