dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
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But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
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What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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