yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
