I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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