I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
