HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
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Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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