Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
