we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
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The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
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I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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