I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
