so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
