I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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