I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
