Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
