I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
