Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
