i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
