i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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