So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
