I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
im on a boat
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