im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize