it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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