just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
