Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
