If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
zippers are such a cool invention
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
