I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
it was like eating out sand paper
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
the liver wants what the liver wants
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
