the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
