We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
