yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize