ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
