went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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