How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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