you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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