Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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