Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
