Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
