I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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