Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
