Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
