btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
