i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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