What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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