Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
