It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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