R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
