Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
