Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
