I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
