Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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