fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
