Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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