yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize